babing soup

updown

2011-08-05T16:15:00.004-04:00

I have the DJ Khaled song in my head (All I Do Is Win) because there's a line in there that goes "Up down, up down, up down."

Earlier today I started an email thread with my little bro. We like to talk finance. I don't know how this happened. I mean, we used to try and kill each other when we were kids. Not literally, of course, but sibling rivalry was rampant in our house.

So now we talk money. Stocks. Investing. It's crazy, but the man teaches me a lot. It doesn't hurt that I read about finance all day long, but I am by no means educated in this area. Quite frankly, once my brain starts hearing numbers, all thoughts flat-line.

Well, not ALL thoughts. I still enjoy hearing the story behind a good stock. And I like the idea of investing in some behind-the-scenes company. Not the gold company, but the company that does the mining. Or the company that provides the mining company with the machinery.

Tell me a story and I'm all ears. Tell me the price-to-earnings ratio and you'll wonder when I started showing signs of dementia.

Anyway, I have no skin to put in the game. The little money I do have is mostly invested in a Roth IRA, or a mutual fund of some sort. I need safety because I have no money to lose.

And then I remembered about a website that my brother told me about. It's called updown.com. You can do all sorts of faux investing. It's pretty interesting. Hear about a hot stock? "Invest" in it on updown.com and you can see how you would do if you had the balls, gumption, or money to do it. I have none of these, so I play pretend.

Would you like to come to my fairy tea party later?

I digress.

I've been interested in the Dunkin Brands stock. It recently IPO'd, which means it is currently overpriced. So I "bought in" today and I'm eager to see where it'll go. I'd never buy at this point in time, so I'm just having fun with it.

So, enjoy this. On me.

Cause all I do is win.

Supposin

2011-04-29T10:30:00.003-04:00

As I read my friends' Facebook statuses, I can't help but feel like I'm the only American woman who really, really doesn't care about the Royal Wedding.

I didn't get up at dawn to sip on tea and fake an accent. No, I slept in, woke up as unkempt as I am every morning, and waddled off to the shower. I ate my breakfast, then got ready and came to work. I didn't even THINK about the wedding.

Until I logged into my computer at work.

See, I read the news all day. I'm in an industry that makes this necessary. We need to be on top of world events because these affect the stock markets here and abroad.

I go online, first to CNN.com, then to Drudge Report, and I see all this British hullabaloo everywhere.

Don't get me wrong, I love brits. I may even go so far to say I "lurve" them.

I dated a brit. I fell in love with the country. It's an amazing place. But I still refuse to get into all the hype about the doe-eyed prince marrying the socialite.

I guess a lot of this has to do with the fact that I don't want a large to-do when I get married. I want my boo, his daughter and a courthouse. That's all I need.

So I suppose that a lot of my being anti-Royal Wedding has to do with the fact that I think it's all a load of crap!

supplies!

2011-04-04T11:48:00.004-04:00

Turned 30 today. Woop-de-doo.

My boo threw me a surprise party on Saturday and boy was I surprised! I had no idea.

I always thought that I'd be able to figure that sort of thing out, but I was completely blown away.

He invited so many friends that I love: Heather, Kara, Melanie (& Tom), Sam, Marina, Jessie T... Plus my brother and sister were there.

It was such a fulfilling birthday party. We bowled and ate pizza and cake, then we went home and opened presents. It was a good day.

Now onto being 30...

granny

2011-03-18T13:13:00.000-04:00

My grandmother passed away on Wednesday. I got the call from my mom at 6am.

Tonight is the viewing. Tomorrow is the funeral.

J and I are supposed to go see Elton John on Sunday night at Madison Square Garden, but I can't tell you of a time when I've wanted to hear Crocodile Rock and less than I do now.

I know it's for the best. She was 92. She had serious dementia and couldn't even speak any more. It took over 10 years, almost 12, of her living in that condition. I do not want that to happen to me or anyone else I love. She had no idea who we were and when she was able to speak, would just repeat the same sentences over and over.

I was looking at old pictures of her last night. She looked so young and vibrant. That wasn't the woman who died the other day. She's finally free of the prison she was in.

I'm still so sad. It just breaks my heart that she lived like that for so long. She was my last living grandparent

Travel

2011-02-24T15:33:00.004-05:00

My beloved and I are going to embark on a week-long trip next week. We're going to visit my folks in Florida and I couldn't be more excited. While he and I take the occasional trip (usually for work) it's been quite some time that we've taken an extended holiday.

We'll be staying with my family just outside of West Palm Beach. This is exciting because my sister, her husband, and their daughter are there as well. And my sister is expecting again.

Right now we don't have much planned, save for the meals we've been thinking about for weeks. We will take a brief excursion (just the two of us) up to a town called Melbourne. After checking the town's website, it doesn't look as though they have much to offer to us. But no biggie, we're really just going for a few hours of peace.

Lately work hasn't been as fulfilling as it should be. I'm really burned out. Maybe it's because it's been so long because I've taken a vacation. Or maybe it's because I so badly want to do my part to "save" the world.

Whenever I take the Myers-Briggs personality test, I get ENFJ. I used to get really annoyed when I'd read the suggested careers because I thought they were all beneath me. But I'm realized now that there's nothing that's truly beneath me except a job or career I do not enjoy.

Which is part of the reason I've been taking ASL classes as of late. A lot of it for personal enrichment, but also as a possible career move. And what would fit better into the "social work" category than interpreting? What's more social than language? (I'm looking at the term "social work" outside of the context of being a licensed social worker. That's not a career or field I'd be interested in.).

So we'll see where all this goes. The trip we're taking will give me more than enough time to stew and mull over my own thoughts, but also a wonderful opportunity to pick everyone's brains.

And spending time with them will be great too! Don't get me wrong. My niece is amazing and I can't wait to have her all to myself!

food motivation

2011-02-23T15:21:00.000-05:00

thinking about writing more about my love for food. the lengths i'm willing to go for a good meal. recipes i'm playing around with. what i do to keep food prices down in our household.

but that would mean giving up some of my anonymity. not that anyone reads this...

off the radar

2011-01-21T14:09:00.002-05:00

I've been off the radar for over four months.

Quite a faux pas on my part!

I went back to school last fall, while also working a 40 hour workweek. It's been a little nutty 'round these parts, but I came out alive (and with an A).

I start my next semester shortly and I'm very excited. I'm hopeful it goes as well as this past semester (which was an AMAZING way for me to jump back in to the whole "back to school" mindset).

lead heart

2010-11-15T14:20:00.000-05:00

My uncle died suddenly last Tuesday.

I had taken the day off of work (because I'm seriously hating my job lately). I talked to my folks around 10 and let them know I'd be up in a little while.

Got up there around 11:40 and I heard these weird noises coming from the kitchen. It sounded like my mom cooing to my niece.

I walked in and my mom was on the floor, face in her hands, weeping. My dad was sitting next to her, holding her.

All he said was, "Uncle John died."

I walked in the door about 1 minute after my mom got the call from my cousin, James.

I've been heartbroken ever since. My uncle was a saint. Such a sweet, loving, and kind man.

His death was sudden and unexpected -- he had, from what I understand, suffered a fatal abdominal aortic aneuryism.

My family went up for the funeral over the weekend.

I'm still just in shock. I keep randomly falling apart

stuff and changes

2010-10-06T15:55:00.002-04:00

I've been busy lately. Class two nights a week. Babysitting one night a week. Meetings. Time with J and KK. Family dinner once a week.

While I love ALL of this stuff, I'm really tired. I never imagined that my life would be so full and fulfilling, yet tiring at the same time. It's hard to strike a balance here.

J and I went away last week to Rocky Gap. They had a great deal... $100 a night. That didn't include food, but for a hotel stay, that's pretty awesome. We did all sorts of stuff like swimming in the pool, hanging out in the hot tub, hiking. One day while we were there it rained the whole time, so we drove two hours to see the Fairfax Stone, which is a big rock tthat marks the headspring of the northern branch of the Potomac River. We are incredibly cheesy and love this sort of stuff.

We went hiking one day, and being the weirdo I am, I got freaked out that we'd be attacked by a bear. I mean, we were in Allegany county, after all. So I read up on what to do if you encounter a bear.

Well, it's a good thing I did. We were about 3 miles into this trail, seriously trying to hike to PA. We were a little over a mile away from the PA line when we started to smell something really nasty. It was the smell of piss and death. I mentioned it to J and the next thing I know he grabs me and says "BEAR CUB." Very calmly. I started to turn to run, which is exactly what you're NOT supposed to do. We just started walking back down the trail. I walked backwards to keep an eye on things, he faced forward. We talked the whole way down, which is one of the suggested tips.

I nearly crapped my pants. I'm so glad my anxiety told me to research what to do. It was really scary.

Oh, and two weeks ago today I got my hair cut. All of it. I had 13 inches cut off for donation. It's damn short now, but I love it

mah no

2010-09-01T12:56:00.002-04:00

I've totally forgotten to mention this.

I just recently found out that I had mono this summer. And here I thought I was just really bored.*

But, yeah, I've been excessively tired. Not in the I need a nap sense. More like I need to sleep 15 hours every night in addition to a half hour nap after work.

All of this coincided with other changes. I started working out in the morning instead of afternoon, which meant getting up a lot earlier. I also gave up coffee for a period of time.

So I thought I was tired from natural causes.

Turns out I was fighting a virus. And fighting it hard. I never did take a break from working out because I just didn't realize I was ill. But I did go back to caffeine because I'm no idiot.

I had some bloodwork done that revealed that - AHA! - I had mono. It's mostly out my system at this point.

I'm fairly certain I picked the virus up while on vacation with my family. At any given time there were 3 or 4 bottles of water around the house. Before we got smart and started labelling them with our initials, I know that several of us accidentally shared bottles. And I do know that one of my family members also came down with mono.

Anyway, I'm over the hump and starting to feel better. But better is relative, especially when my sleep schedule gets slightly messed up. Like this past weekend... We were out late for my cousin's wedding. Really late. The next day was miserable.

I keep getting better every day, so that's all that matters!

*See Wayne's World for full quote ("I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.")

a life well spent

2010-08-31T14:54:00.004-04:00

If we could all be so lucky to have the chance to go like this. What an inspiring story.

http://www.explorebaltimorecounty.com/news/104650/adventurous-end-susie-mann-reveled-life-well-spent/

Susie Weadock Mann — the local woman who, when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer in July 2009 decided to forgo chemotherapy treatment and instead embrace a “bucket list” of activities with her family — died Feb. 15.

The 79-year-old grandmother, who raised four children in Ruxton before moving to Mercy Ridge in Timonium, told the Towson Times her story last October.

In July, she had been given six to nine months to live. She had declined treatment because she didn’t want to spend the time she had left feeling ill with the side effects of chemotherapy, she said.

She opted instead to complete activities with her extended family, a la “The Bucket List,” a 2007 film about two terminally ill men who take on adventures before they “kick the bucket.”

Since July, she did everything she wanted to do but never before had the chance.

Accompanied by family and friends, she swam with dolphins in Florida, flew in a helicopter over the Grand Canyon and sky-dived at Cape Canaveral, Fla. She hang-glided. She rode a dogsled. She whipped through the desert on an all-terrain vehicle.

In an interview with CBS News, she said of her adventures, “If something happened to me, what a way to go.”

Many of the residents of Mercy Ridge followed her story.

“She was an inspiration,” said George Oxx, the community’s executive director. “She was a cheerful, delightful lady who maintained a positive attitude through all of this.

“To take that attitude and to do all the things she did was truly remarkable,” he said.

Susie’s last major adventure took place in the Pocono Mountains, according to the blog of the family’s adventures maintained by her daughter, Louise “Ouisie” Weadock.

There were 45 people there for dogsledding in January, Weadock wrote. Not all of them knew each other, but they all had some connection with her mother.

“The evening was magically serene ... clear sky with stars galore, no wind, huge moon shine casting a shadow on the pristine snow.

“For a long moment we stood together and just loved one another, loved who we were; we loved what God could do if we asked Him and we loved what we stood for ... our ability to let go of a disappointment ... and summon the courage to ‘Get over it.’ ”

By January, it was apparent Susie’s body was having trouble keeping up with her spirit, according to the blog.

“As many of you witnessed, Mom is feeling very, very tired,” Weadock wrote. “The cancer is moving through her and she is going with it in total grace.”

By mid-February, she was even weaker and fighting hard to breathe. She was admitted to Stella Maris Hospice, where family and friends gathered at her bedside.

On Feb. 15 at 6:15 p.m. “without fanfare and with so much grace, ... she set out on a new adventure, taking her last leap, without a kite or parachute,” Weadock wrote.

Her mother had taught them all to live in the joy of the moment, Weadock said.

“Through ‘the buckets,’ we may have lost a mom, but we found each other... we found our family,” she said.

After the family’s trip to the Grand Canyon and Arizona, Weadock had said, “We are here on earth for but a nanosecond. We owe it to ourselves, each other and our God — in the beginning, when you hit life, to hit it hard; when you live life, live it voraciously, and when we leave it, let it know you are gone.”

Her mother did just that, she said.

“I would call it a life well spent,” Weadock said. “We will miss her desperately.”

Sewall “Susie” Weeks Weadock Mann was the sister of Kirkland Weeks and the late John Weeks. She is survived by children John, Michael, Louise and Thomas Weadock and four grandchildren.

A Catholic Memorial Mass for Susie Mann was scheduled for Wednesday, Feb. 24, 11 a.m., at the Shrine of the Sacred Heart, Mount Washington, with a reception following at L’Hirondelle Club, 7611 Club Road, Ruxton.

The family is requesting donations go to the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation for Spinal Cord Injury, 636 Morris Turnpike, Suite 3A, Short Hills, NJ 07078; or to Wheels for the World (a wheelchair organization), c/o Joni and Friends, P.O. Box 3333 Agoura Hills, CA 91376.

transition

2010-08-27T12:17:00.002-04:00

When the weather starts changing from the oppressive heat of Baltimore in July to the medium-warm of early autumn/late summer, I am most pleased.

Turning off the A/C in exchange for the glory of an open window next to my bed is heavenly. Hearing the chirp of crickets instead of the ugly hum of the machine in the other window is exquisite.

Snuggling up to my boo because of the late night chill is my favorite feeling.

Smelling the early morning air and being reminded of back to school weather makes me nostalgic. I love it.

Sometimes, sometimes Baltimore is my favorite place on earth.

knew qat

2010-08-17T13:37:00.003-04:00

Somehow word is getting out that I'm a cat lady. I mean, it's true, but it's one of those stories that's now running rampant.

Ok, so I have a t-shirt that says "I love my adopted cat." And I have a mousepad with a cat on it. And coasters. And a figurine. And books. And more cat toys than a person with one cat needs.

After Tigger passed away, I took in my parents' cat for a few months. Then my friend needed someone to care for her cat for a few months. Mindlessly taking care of those felines helped me mourn the loss of my kitty.

I gave both cats back to their respective owners in early April, looking forward to some cat-free time. And then, of course, I received an email from a friend saying that her friend needed a home for her cat. For a year. At least. Maybe permanently.

So we took in this sweet cat in early May. He's actually become part of the family and I'm not sure how I'll feel about giving him back. If we do.

Anyway, last week I received an email about a cat who'd been kicked out by his former family. I thought it was just a fostering situation, but I have since learned that it will probably be permanent. New kitty has been living on the street for the past few weeks and somehow my name made it into the mix of potential owners.

I brought the cat home last night. Neither cat is entirely thrilled about there being another male around, but they'll adjust. So far it's been a lot of growling, hissing and poofing of tails. I've kept them in separate rooms until they meet. Fingers crossed this goes well and they end up buddies, but seriously, I did not want another cat.

But I suppose it's not all about me in this situation, is it?

rodney dangerfield

2010-08-12T14:09:00.004-04:00

I've recently been toying with the idea of going back to school.

Not for anything like an MBA or a master's degree. I know my limitations there. I do not handle stress well and the thought of going back to school in that capacity gives me heart palpitations.

What I want to do is learn sign language.

When I was in elementary school, the mother of one of my classmates was a sign language interpreter. I always found it so fascinating. Fluid like dancing, but formal like speech.

I've toyed around with ideas for my career a lot over the past few years. I won't get into them here. Some have been absurd (for my personality type) and some have been solely because of what other people felt I should be doing.

Well, this one is all me. I'm going to an informational open house soon and I'm looking forward to it.

8 months later

2010-08-05T08:58:00.000-04:00

I was just looking at my flickr pictures and I came across one of me and Tigger. He used to do this thing where he'd come up and lay on my chest. Usually we would sit face to face, but on this night, he laid in a way that was perfect for me to burrow my face into his neck.

I know you know about pheromones and smelling the one you love. Well, I had that with Tigger. I loved the way he smelled. It was so comforting.

Anyway, I'm doing that in this picture I was looking at. It was right after he'd had surgery to remove a lump on his leg. The days that followed the surgery, just before his death, we were so close. He would barely let me sit down for a minute before he'd be on me.

I wonder sometimes if he didn't know that he would be leaving me soon.

I miss him so much. Still.

I've fostered and cared for this cats since then that aren't mine and aren't replacements for him. I don't love them. They're nice to have around in a comforting way, but they just don't replace him or fill that void. They are perfect distractions.

But at the end of the day, I still cry over him. Up until recently it was still every day. Now it's less often, but still at least once a week. I just weep.

Anyway, that's really it for now. I'm crying again. I always knew it'd be hard to let go of him, I just didn't realize how hard it'd be.

miss you

2010-05-10T14:41:00.003-04:00

Seven years ago today I adopted Tigger. He was my best friend from that day forward.

Five months ago yesterday he unexpectedly passed away in his sleep. In bed, next to me.

I still miss him every single day. And although the pain has subsided, I still can't imagine my life without him.

Silly as it may sound to a non-animal lover, that cat and I had a bond that I've only experienced with an animal one other time.

So anyway, I'm taking today to remember my baby.

let's go

2010-04-30T11:00:00.001-04:00

J finally left his job. He starts his new gig (basically same job, different company) on Monday. So he had three days to kill this week. And I decided to take off two days to spend with him.

I did a little research, found some places for us to stay, and we left Tuesday night for a mini road trip. Spent Tuesday night in beautiful Deptford, New Jersey.

Actually, we stayed at a Residence Inn. The place essentially sucked, but because we got there so late in the evening, our room had been taken. So they upgraded us for free to a two bedroom, two bathroom suite. All this for $79.

Awesome, kick-ass breakfast at the hotel was quickly followed by us driving to Philadelphia. Made our way to the Mutter Museum (loved it) and then further into the city for lunch at Reading Street Station. Think Lexington Market, but a whole lot less hood.

We had seen a show featuring a place called DiNic's, so we went there for lunch. And it was incredible. Roast pork sandwich with sharp provolone and broccoli rabe. OMG. It was so good.

And then I had the best cookie of my life at the PA General Store (they're on twitter, too: @pageneralstore). It was a heath bar crunch cookie. Seriously.

After that, we drove for several hours towards Cape May. (btw, I don't like New Jersey -- no left turns. WTF??) And then took the Cape May/Lewes Ferry to Lewes, Delaware.

We spent the night in Rehoboth. Ate dinner at Stingray, which is this neat Asian Mexican fusion joint. Sounds weird, but it's actually quite tasty. The hotel we stayed in was great. Right on Rehoboth Ave. They even have an indoor heated pool.

And then we came home yesterday.

It was our first solo vacation together. Everything else has either involved family or work trips. This was entirely necessary and a lot of fun

foster mom

2010-04-19T15:30:00.001-04:00

I've been taking care of two cats ever since Tigger passed away. There's Tails, my parents' 16-year old diabetic cat and Sebi, my friend Jessie's man cat.

They've been really great to have around. I have needed my space to be occupied by little feet.

But my time with them is almost over. And I'm glad.

See, Tails stays with me every winter and I'm fine with that. But I get tired of having to do the insulin twice a day. I'm fine with needles and administering shots, I just get tired of the high-maintenance cats.

Sebi's a great cat. Very loving and fun. But when I look at him, I'm reminded that the entire reason he's staying me at all is because Tigger is dead.

Tails will be going back on Sunday or Monday of next week. Sebi will probably be going home this week.

And then out of nowhere, a friend of mine, Erika, e-mailed me saying that her friend needed to find a semi-permanent home for her cat. The friend of a friend, Jamie, and her fiance have to move in with her fiance's parents for a while. Maybe a year. Maybe longer. Maybe not.

But the parents are allergic to cats.

So Jamie was facing the option of having to give him up to the SPCA.

And that's when Erika e-mailed me.

I went over to Jamie's on Saturday and met the cat. He is very sweet and very chill. He apparently has some separation anxiety issues, which is fine b/c I'm a total homebody these days anyway.

His time with me is open-ended. Jamie said that if he becomes part of the J-J-K family, then she doesn't want to break that up. And I said that if plans change and she wants him back in 6 months or 12 months or whenever, that that's fine.

So I will be fostering for up to a year. And maybe I'll be a permanent mom after that.

I feel really good about doing this. Jamie and her fiance are going through a very difficult time right now (loss of a loved one) and I'm so glad to be able to help.

tehn daiz

2010-04-14T10:43:00.003-04:00

Ten days into being 29. I keep waiting to feel it. Like I'll suddenly feel like an adult.

I suppose in some way I do feel that way. Almost as soon as I turned 28, I experienced the urge to bare children. Crazy.

Prior to that, I had never felt that way. The thought of having children has always been a fleeting thought, something I took for granted.

"Oh, yeah, one day when I have kids..."

When I was 18, I had a boyfriend who wanted us to be married and have children by the time he was 25. I was two years younger than he and I felt the pressure of being an adult cave in on me.

I could see my future: graduate from college, get married, have babies. I was not ready.

After him, I dated a man who never wanted to have children and certainly never wanted marriage. Still reeling with the thoughts of being too young to have children and rebelling against the last boyfriend, I declared that I never wanted kids.

But this wasn't true, either.

I've always protected myself and thought about what I'd do if it happened before I was ready. Thankfully, I never had to think it much further through than a simple pill-a-day.

But now, here I am, over a decade later, ready to have a child. Well, physically ready.

J and I have started talking more and more about marriage and our future together. We're not engaged yet and I don't know that we will be. I don't want a ceremony or a white dress. I want simplicity, a courthouse, and a party afterward.

For the first time in my life, I'm with a partner that I can see myself marrying. And more importantly [to my hormones], I'm with a partner that I can easily see myself having children with (when the time is right).

So while I still feel like I'm 18 years old, I feel like I'm finally ready to make adult decisions.

I guess I'm 18 with a lot more maturity!

day one

2010-04-04T13:11:00.002-04:00

First day of being 29.

Stayed out late with friends, playing Taboo and telling stories. Laughed so hard I belly-ached. Happy, joyous and free.

Arrived home after 1 a.m. and told J I wanted to open my birthday gift. My boo gave me all of the Police Academy movies AND tickets to see The Phantom of the Opera in a few weeks. I was floored!

Woke up late this morning, expecting to be sore from yesterday's five-and-a-half mile walk. Felt like a million bucks.

J, his daughter, his mother and I went to a local crêpe restaurant and had a delightful lunch (and sweet crêpes for dessert).

Decided that I wanted a potted plant. Found a cute little African Violet for $2.99. But after all was said and done, I ended up with the plant, a new ceramic pot for repotting, potting soil, and African Violet plant food. Twenty dollars later... I repotted the flower when I got home and was pretty proud of myself.

A few hours later I heard the damn cat jump off the kitchen counter. Suspicious, I ran into the kitchen to find that he had uprooted the plant and helped himself to the leaves and one of the blossoms. C'est la vie...

Followed everything up with an AA meeting in the evening, then passed out early.

Maybe 29 won't be SO bad...

Too daze

2010-04-02T11:36:00.002-04:00

In two days I turn 29. This makes me feel like my personality is disconnected from my age. Almost like I'm having an out-of-body experience when I think of myself as an almost 30-year-old.

I guess that's a good thing, not feeling my age.

Yesterday was my boyfriend's daughter's birthday. She turned a whopping six years old. It's hard to believe that when I met her, she was four. She has changed a lot.

Which makes me wonder if I've changed in that span of time.

But in reality, I feel closer to the age of six than I do to 29. Weird how that works.

been a while

2010-03-31T09:15:00.002-04:00

I went on vacation from March 20 thru 25. Went to visit my family in Florida. It was so nice and relaxing. Coming back home sucked.

On the 22nd, J and I drove from my folks' place to Miami to see Wilco play at the Fillmore in Miami Beach. It was, and I don't say this lightly, by far the best live show I have ever seen in my life. It was two and a half hours of pure talent.

Got to spend a lot of time with my niece, which I needed. She is growing so fast. She does this smile thing where her whole face lights up. It is amazing to see. I miss her so much already!

Came home on Thursday and immediately had to go to an open house (like a wake). An old family friend passed away on the 20th.

He killed himself. He was my sister's age. His brother is my age and the older of the two daughters is my brother's age. We all went to school together from elementary through high school.

I was supposed to go to work on Friday, but I called out for the funeral.

The funeral was incredibly moving. Friends and family went up to the podium to speak. I was moved to tears on several occasions. But I was also driven to laughter because of all the happy memories that were brought up.

Still, my heart goes out to his family. He must have been in an incomprehensible amount of pain to have taken his own life.

And then Friday I celebrated my one-year anniversary.

Sunday was K's birthday party, she's getting so old!

snow and baltimore people

2010-01-26T10:26:00.001-05:00

No offense to any of you, but folks from Baltimore are weird about the snow.

Something to know about me: I check the weather about three times a day. On average. It's mostly out of habit, but also just out of boredom. And I'll tell you this: the forecast doesn't change much.

So here's the thing: we're forecast to get snow showers on Saturday. The day of the Polar Bear Plunge. It seems fitting enough. It'll be cold as balls out, so why not have some flurries?

Well, talking to J earlier he told me that one of his annoying coworkers is getting folks into a frenzy by saying she heard we're supposed to get 12 inches of snow on Saturday.

I came back to the office to tell my coworkers about it in a joking way (i.e. "Check out what some numbnuts at J's work is saying!"), but it was instead taken seriously. One of my colleagues even posted it as her status update on Facebook.

JIMINY CRICKETS!

If we get 12 inches of snow on Friday, then I'm a monkey's uncle.

kind gesture

2010-01-12T13:47:00.000-05:00

My friend, Jessie T, has to basically live in CT for the next 4 months while she helps set up a new call center for our company.

She and I met for lunch after Tigger passed away and we talked about her cat. One option for her was to take the cat to CT with her, but he'd have to live with her parents. The other option I gave her was for him to stay with me.

He came over around xmastime and it's taken him forever to get used to the place... to get used to living with a man and a kid.

I was very pleased this morning when I walked out of my bedroom and found that he had dragged this green feathery toy to right outside the door. Makes me feel like he might be finally getting used to it.

He's no Tigger, that's for sure. But it's nice to hear him running around and carrying on.

I still miss Tigger like crazy. He was my little buddy. But now I'm going off on another tangent.

snows and other

2009-12-21T17:30:00.000-05:00

Tigger is home. The vet called on Friday and said his ashes were ready for pickup. So I left work early and picked him up. Cried the whole way home. Cried with I took the memorial wooden box out of the cardboard box. Cried when I put him on his favorite chair.

But I'm glad "he's" home.

Last night I had a dream about him for the first time since he passed. I know it's silly, but I have felt his presence for fleeting moments since that day.

But in last night's dream, I recall his hearing his purr. I woke up this morning not feeling sad, but feeling like I did before: where I just loved him unconditionally.

Sad news

2009-12-16T15:23:00.004-05:00

Words have escaped me.

Every time I try to comprehend the loss, I get upset.

Tigger passed away in his sleep last week. His vet said that he most likely had an undiagnosed heart condition like cardiomyapothy.

He died suddenly, painlessly and in bed with me.

I didn't realize what had happened until I woke up in the morning.

My heart is absolutely broken. We had six and a half wonderful years together, and for that I am truly grateful.

I miss him with my entire heart.

brother

2009-12-10T08:34:00.000-05:00

After Tigger passed away, I got this e-mail from my brother. Josh was the dog we had when we were growing up. We never had a dog after Josh because my dad is still sad (after 26 years!) about losing his best friend...

"I know you don't want to talk about it but I really think Tigger is going to be the Baby's guardian angel. It's so sad but I really think that, Josh was kind of the same way for me and I always felt like I had a connection with him somehow even though he was apart of everyone elses life and not mine. I hope you're doing ok, I'm thinking about you..."

n/a

2009-12-09T13:42:00.000-05:00

not much to say. i'm in a world of agony right now.

tigger died in his sleep last night.

the only consolation i have right now is that he was close to me when he passed and that he did not suffer.

i spoke with his vet this morning. she said that sudden death in cats is not uncommon that that it was probably a form of cardiomyopathy called HCM. i'll read up more later.

anyway. i just dropped him off at the vet to be picked up on friday for cremation.

my heart is broken. my baby is gone.

vacation mom

2009-11-02T18:27:00.001-05:00

So K stayed with me and J from Thursday night through Sunday at dinner time (her mother went out of town). We had a great time and she wore me out completely, but it was worth it.

J, K and I went to Kohl's yesterday to get J new work shirts. She and I made a detour to check out all the pretty leggings and tights.

While we were looking through the selection, she said to me, "When my mom goes on vacation, you're my vacation mom."

I stopped dead in my tracks and just looked at her. All I could do was hug her and say, "That's very sweet, K."

This kid is changing my life. She's changing how I feel about kids and she's definitely making me a big old softie.

Anyway, after that we went to Old Navy to look for some inexpensive leggings for her and I came across this t-shirt of Return of the Jedi. It was a kids shirt, so I made her try it on. Then I looked through the pile and realized that the kids XL would fit me.

So I got us matching t-shirts. Because when it comes to ewoks, you kind of have to.

sunrise

2009-06-16T07:20:00.006-04:00

J and I got up super early to see the sunrise. First attempt in Outer Banks last week failed. Second attempt yesterday morning failed.

Major win this morning. One of the more memorable, happy, and loving memories I get to share with him.